I had my first coaching session today. I’ve never seen a therapist or a coach before this, because quite honestly I felt like they were for people with problems and I sure didn’t have any of those.

I learned you can have your shit together and still have problems. Areas in your life that you want to change in some way, but lack the direction and focus to actually get there. Without those, there’s little motivation to do anything about it.

Insight is my power word this year.

I gleaned precious moments of clear insight from my session with Alessandra. It felt pretty fucking awesome. Like seeing into a portal and on the other side is a more badass version of you karate kicking Neo-Nazi Ninjas off buildings.

I realized the reason I sometimes feel paralyzed with indecision about what to do with my free time is that I get too anxious about making the absolute right choice, that I make no choice at all. Or do something menial to distract myself until I run out of time in the day.

I’m glad that I can see that a little more clearly. It’s going to take some work, but I can understand now how I need to better align my priorities with what I do, and also be okay with doing “good enough.” I don’t always have to be doing the absolute best thing. Even a pretty good thing is better than nothing.

Looking at it now, I feel like asking myself, “Why couldn’t you see that?” It seems so obvious.

I’m not going to chastise or criticize myself. It’s okay because this is a moment to learn and grow. There’s no better way to do so than to practice this insight. At the time I was too caught up in the tumult going on in my head to elevate my thinking and evaluate why I was making these decisions (or not).

That is the type of insight that Alessandra has taught me today, and the type I want to develop. To look at the decisions you make and dig (layer by layer) to find out why you’re making them. It was like a deep breath of fresh air.

It’s all part of a much bigger journey and I have a long way to go. But it’s a little less blurry 🙂